What is reality

 "Everyone is aware of two things, namely himself, the seer, and the world which he sees; and he assumes that they are both real. But that alone is real which has a continuous existence. Judged by this test, the two, the seer and the spectacle, are both unreal: these two appear intermittently. They are apparent in the waking and dream state alone. In the state of deep sleep, they cease to appear. That is, they appear. That is, they appear when the mind is active, and disappear as soon as the mind ceases to function. Therefore, the two are but thoughts of the mind. 

There must be something from which the mind arises, and into which it subsides. That something must have a continuous, uninterrupted existence. That is, it must be the reality!" 

- Ramana Maharshi

DeMello: Being a Changed Person

In your pursuit of awareness, don't make demands.

You can't imitate Christ by imitating his external behaviour. You've got to be Christ. Then you'll know exactly what to do in a particular situation, given your temperament, your character, and the character and temperament of the person you're dealing with. No one has to tell you. But to do that, you must be what Christ was. An external imitation will get you nowhere.

If you think that compassion implies softness, there's no way I can describe compassion to you, absolutely no way, because compassion can be very hard. Compassion can be very rude, compassion can jolt you, compassion can roll up its sleeves and operate on you. Compassion is all kinds of things. Compassion can be very soft, but there's no way of knowing that. 

It's only when you become love -- in other words, when you have dropped your illusions and attachments -- that you will "know." 

As you identify less and less with the "me," you will be more at ease with everybody and with everything. Do you know why? Because you are no longer afraid of being hurt or not liked. You no longer desire to impress anyone.

Nobody was mean to you. Somebody was mean to what he or she thought was you, but not to you. Nobody ever rejects you; they're only rejecting what they think you are. But that cuts both ways. Nobody ever accepts you either. Until people come awake, they are simply accepting or rejecting their image of you. They've fashioned an image of you, and they're rejecting or accepting that. See how devastating it is to go deeply into that. It's a bit too liberating. But how easy it is to love people when you understand this. How easy it is to love everyone when you don't identify with what they imagine you are or they are. It becomes easy to love them, to love everybody. 

One can not say anything about the awakened state; one can only talk about the sleeping state. One hints at the awakened state. One cannot say anything about happiness. Happiness cannot be defined. What can be defined is misery. Drop unhappiness and you will know. Love cannot be defined; unlove can. Drop unlove, drop fear, and you will know. We want to find out what the awakened person is like. But you'll know only when you get there. 

Am I implying, for example, that we shouldn't make demands on our children? What I said was: "You don't have a right to make any demands." Sooner or later that child is going to have to get rid of you, in keeping with the injunction of the Lord. And you're going to have no rights over him at all. In fact, he really isn't your child and he never was. He belongs to life, not to you. No one belongs to you. What you're talking about is a child's education.

When I talk about not having expectations of others, or not making demands on them, I mean expectations and demands for my well-being.

DeMello: The Most Important Minutes in Your Life

You're a success in life when you wake up! Then you don't have to apologise to anyone, you don't have to explain anything to anyone, you don't give a damn what anybody thinks about you or what anybody says about you. You have no worries; you're happy. That's what I call being a success. 

You could be a plumber or a lawyer or a business man or a priest, but that does not affect the essential "I." It doesn't affect you. If I change my profession tomorrow, it's just like changing my clothes. I am untouched. Are you your clothes? Are you your name? Are you your profession? Stop identifying with them. They come and go. 

Do you want to be happy? Uninterrupted happiness is uncaused. True happiness is uncaused. You cannot make me happy. You are not my happiness. 

You say to the awakened person, "Why are you happy?" and the awakened person replies, "Why not?" 

Happiness is our natural state. Happiness is the natural state of little children, to whom the kingdom belongs until they have been polluted and contaminated by the stupidity of society and culture. 
To acquire happiness you don't have to do anything, because happiness cannot be acquired. 

Does anybody know why? Because we have it already. How can you acquire what you already have? 

Then why don't you experience it? Because you've got to drop something. You've got to drop illusions. You don't have to add anything in order to be happy; you've got to drop something. Life is easy, life is delightful. It's only hard on your illusions, your ambitions, your greed, your cravings. 

Do you know where these things come from? From having identified with all kinds of labels!

DeMello: Are you Sleep Walking?

But even there we've got to make sure that you're not swinging into action simply to get rid of your negative feelings. Many people swing into action only to make things worse. They're not coming from love, they're coming from negative feelings. They're coming from guilt, anger, hate; from a sense of injustice or whatever.

You've got to make sure of your "being" before you swing into action. You have to make sure of who you are before you act. Unfortunately, when sleeping people swing into action, they simply substitute one cruelty for another, one injustice for another. And so it goes. 

Meister Eckhart says, "It is not by your actions that you will be saved" (or awakened; call it by any word you want), "but by your being. It is not by what you do, but by what you are that you will be judged." 

What good is it to you to feed the hungry, give the thirsty to drink, or visit prisoners in jail? 

Remember that sentence from Paul: 

"If I give my body to be burned and all my goods to feed the poor and have not love . . ." 

It's not your actions, it's your being that counts. Then you might swing into action. You might or might not. You can't decide that until you're awake. 

"Plunge into the heat of battle and keep your heart at the lotus feet of the Lord"

We see people and things not as they are, but as we are. That is why when two people look at something or someone, you get two different reactions. We see things and people not as they are, but as we are. 

When you finally awake, you don't try to make good things happen; they just happen. You understand suddenly that everything that happens to you is good. Think of some people you're living with whom you want to change. You find them moody, inconsiderate, unreliable, treacherous, or whatever. But when you are different, they'll be different. That's an infallible and miraculous cure. The day you are different, they will become different. And you will see them differently, too.

Put this program into action, a thousand times: 

(a) identify the negative feelings in you; 

(b) understand that they are in you, not in the world, not in external reality; 

(c) do not see them as an essential part of "I"; these things come and go; 

(d) understand that when you change, everything changes