Question: What is the means for constantly holding on to the thought 'Who am I?'

When other thoughts arise, one should not pursue them, but should inquire: 'To whom do they arise?' It does not matter how many thoughts arise. As each thought arises, one should inquire with diligence, "To whom has this thought arisen?". The answer that would emerge would be "To me". Thereupon if one inquires "Who am I?", the mind will go back to its source; and the thought that arose will become quiescent. With repeated practice in this manner, the mind will develop the skill to stay in its source. When the mind that is subtle goes out through the brain and the sense organs, the gross names and forms appear; when it stays in the heart, the names and forms disappear. Not letting the mind go out, but retaining it in the Heart is what is called "inwardness (antar-mukha). Letting the mind go out of the Heart is known as "externalisation" (bahir-mukha). Thus, when the mind stays in the Heart, the 'I' which is the source of all thoughts will go, and the Self which ever exists will shine. Whatever one does, one should do without the egoity "I". If one acts in that way, all will appear as of the nature of Siva (God).

Upadesa Undiyar: Verse 16

“When the mind is restrained from  its wandering  by means of breath-restraint, it is forced to give up attending to external objects.  When it thus gives up attending to external objects, which are second and third persons, will not the first person alone remain shining there?  Therefore by merely giving up attention to second and third persons, will not self-attention automatically result?”  

This is an important doubt to clarify.

Withdrawing the attention from second and third persons is called  antarmukham or introversion, whereas focusing the attention on ‘I’ is called  ahamukham or facing selfward. Though  ahamukham includes in itself  antarmukham,  antarmukham does not necessarily include ahamukham.  That is, though the attention is withdrawn from external objects, it is not necessarily focused keenly on the consciousness ‘I’.  The state in which the attention is thus withdrawn from external objects but not fixed keenly on self is called manolaya (temporary subsidence of the mind), and this state is experienced by everyone daily when they go to sleep.  If a person practicing  raja-yoga withdraws his attention from external objects by means of breath-restraint and if he does not make effort to fix his attention firmly upon the consciousness ‘I’, his mind will slip into the state of manolaya.  Though the manolaya which is thus achieved by the practice of  raja-yoga is glorified by the name  nirvikalpa samadhi (thought-free absorption of the mind), it is in fact no more helpful to spiritual progress than is the daily sleep experienced by all people.


Why is it that self-knowledge does not arise in the state of manolaya? 

The reason is that the power of  maya functions in two forms, namely  avarana sakti (the power of covering or concealing) and vikshepa sakti (the power of projection, diversification, tossing or confusion). Avarana sakti is the dullness of forgetfulness of one’s true nature whereas vikshepa sakti is the perception of multiplicity which arises when the body is taken to be ‘I’.  In the various states of  manolaya such as sleep and  kashtha nirvikalpa samadhi, though the mind is temporarily freed from the hold of  vikshepa sakti, it still remains enveloped by the veil of avarana sakti.  Due to this veil of avarana sakti, the clear knowledge of one’s true nature is not experienced in manolaya, and hence in due course the mind will rise again and come
under the tossing sway of vikshepa sakti. By withdrawing one’s attention from external objects, one frees oneself temporarily from the sway of  vikshepa sakti.  But in order to pierce though the dark veil of  avarana sakti, it is necessary for one to attend keenly to the consciousness ‘I’ and thereby know its true nature. That is, since self-forgetfulness is the root-cause for the rising of the veil of  avarana sakti, self-attention alone is the medicine which will remove it.  

This is why Sri Bhagavan says,

“Having given up external objects, the mind knowing its own form of light is alone true knowledge”.

-- Upadesa Undiyar (Verse 16)

How is the ego to be destroyed?
This question is a sure way to cherish the ego and not kill it.

Can the ego ever agree to kill itself?
If you seek the ego you will find it does not exist. 
That is the way to destroy it.

--

Upadesa Saram (17),

When one scrutinizes the form of the mind without forgetfulness [that is, without pramada or slackness of attention], [it will be found that] there is no such thing as mind; this is the direct path for all. 

Q.: You sometimes say that we should avoid company. That is not always possible. If one is working one has to mix with all kinds of people. One can't always avoid them.

Annamalai Swami: In such situations one should take the attitude of someone who is acting in a drama. Outwardly one should do whatever actions are necessary, but inwardly, one should be always aware of the center, the consciousness which makes itself known as the feeling 'I am'.


I say 'avoid bad company' but ultimately bad company is just a part of the mind. There is no bad company in the Self. While you are trying to disentangle yourself from the mind it will be helpful for you to avoid bad company. Whenever that is not possible, make an extra effort to withdraw into the Self. If you can establish yourself there, the currents from other peoples minds cannot affect you. If you do have to mix with unspiritual people, don't make any judgments about them. Don't think 'This a bad person', or 'I don't like this person.' The less you identify with the mind when you are near such people, the better. ...

Be like a big tree. When the wind comes the branches and leaves are shaken but the trunk remains stationary. If you live in the mind you are always being tossed around like the branches and the twigs in a strong wind. The less you identify with the mind, the less movement there is. When you are aware of yourself as consciousness alone, with no trace of the mind being present, there is no movement at all, only unbroken peace and absolute stillness.

Q.: Swami, you often say that we should avoid bad acts. 
What exactly do you mean by a 'bad act'?

AS: In a general sense, anything which causes harm to other beings is a bad act. But one could also say that any act that keeps your attention away from the Self is a bad act. Identifying with the body and mind is the primal bad act because it is the source of all other bad acts.

Two ways of God-realization

There are two ways. One is the path of discrimination, the other is that of love. Discrimination means to know the distinction between the Real and the unreal. God alone is the real and permanent Substance; all else is illusory and impermanent. The magician alone is real; his magic is illusory. This is discrimination. 

Discrimination and renunciation. Renunciation means to have dispassion for the things of the world. One cannot acquire them all of a sudden. They must be practised every day. One should renounce 'woman and gold' mentally at first. Then, by the will of God, one can renounce it both mentally and outwardly

The other path is that of bhakti, or zealous love of God. Weep for God in solitude, with a restless soul, and ask Him to reveal Himself to you. Cry to your Mother Syama with a real cry, O mind! And how can She hold Herself from you? 

These, then, are the two means: practice and passionate attachment to God, that is to say, restlessness of the soul to see Him

The gist of the whole thing is that one must develop passionate yearning for God and practise discrimination and renunciation

-- Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna

House Holder Devotees

For the householders Sri Ramakrishna did not prescribe the hard path of total renunciation. He wanted them to discharge their obligations to their families. Their renunciation was to be mental. Spiritual life could not he acquired by flying away from responsibilities. A married couple should live like brother and sister after the birth of one or two children, devoting their time to spiritual talk and contemplation. He encouraged the householders, saying that their life was, in a way, easier than that of the monk, since it was more advantageous to fight the enemy from inside a fortress than in an open field. He insisted, however, on their repairing into solitude every now and then to strengthen their devotion and faith in God through prayer, japa, and meditation. He prescribed for them the companionship of sādhus. He asked them to perform their worldly duties with one hand, while holding to God with the other, and to pray to God to make their duties fewer and fewer so that in the end they might cling to Him with both hands. He would discourage in both the householders and the celibate youths any lukewarmness in their spiritual struggles. He would not ask them to follow indiscriminately the ideal of non-resistance, which ultimately makes a coward of the unwary. 

-- Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna

Prof Krishnamurti Aiyer, an enlightened professor of physics said about Bhagavan:

" I observed the personal habits of Bhagavan and tried to follow his example. One noticed in Bhagavan's daily life, personal cleanliness, tidiness of dress, habitual wearing of vibhuti and kumkum on the forehead; equal sharing of all enjoyments with those around one; strict adherence to a time schedule; doing useful work however 'low' it be; never leaving a work unfinished; the pursuit of perfection in every action; ... never considering oneself superior to others; speaking the truth always, or strict silence if the expression of a truth would hurt or lower the reputation of others; perfect self-help, never asking another to do a piece of work which can be done by oneself; taking full responsibility for failure, if any, without shifting the blame on others; accepting success and failure with equanimity; never disturbing the peace of another; leaving the leaf-plate or plate clean after eating; complete non-interference in the affairs of others..."